What’s really going on inside Oceania’s Inner Party?

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Whatever’s going on inside Oceania’s ruling elite has nothing to do with whatever may have been going on inside General David Petraeus’s trousers, or even inside the trousers of his lieutenant, General John Allen.

The same kind of sting operations used to go on inside the destabilising Roman Empire too, only in that less whimsical age, the army generals would fall (or be fallen) upon real swords, as opposed to metaphorical ones, if they lost their little games of power.

The three main protagonists back then – to hold the real purple of power along with the marionette strings of whichever puppet happened to occupy the imperial throne – were the Army of the Rhine, the Army of the Danube, and the Praetorian Guard. I suppose their modern corallaries are the Pentagon, the FBI, and the CIA.

So I don’t know what little games are going on now, but one only needs to read the Histories of Rome to figure out that General Germanicus Petraeus became Emperor, when as leader of the flower of the Rhenish legions, he stormed Rome and took over command of the Praetorian Guard. In the movie, he would of course have to be played by whoever holds the current ‘Young Russell Crowe’ mantle.

An inner cabal of the Praetorians then turned to Queen Hillarius of Gaul, and promised her the imperial purple if she would rid them of Petraeus and let them organise an invasion of Parthia to acquire its (liquid) gold.

They’ve avoided the ire of the powerful Rhenish Legions, by using intrigue and sexual scandal, via shadowy collaterals in the counterbalancing Danubian Legions, probably promising these collaterals much gold should Hillarius actually acquire the throne.

In the meantime, to further throw off the scent of betrayal, Queen Hillarius is visiting Britannia to examine the vine harvest.

You really couldn’t make it up. Even the James Bond producers would throw out such a rotten laughable script. But it’s nice to see that our angelic beneficent rulers enjoy such childish games. It seems these supermen and superwomen are human after all. Though they’ve really got to hire some better script writers.

However, let us acknowledge that they have selected a couple of well-cast Bond girls.

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About Andy Duncan

An Austrian Internet Vigilante trying to live Outside the Asylum
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